There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
