so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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