playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
