yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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