he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
