when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize