feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
