quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
