She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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