I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
