No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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