just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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