Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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