on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Randomize