where am i from again
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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