the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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