Christians are straight up FREAKS
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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