i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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