o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
my poor anus
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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