I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
