What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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