she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
