Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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