Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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