I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
