White coat. Heels.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
