yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
