I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
