Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
