So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
