I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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