): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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