ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
