did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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