I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
