He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just high enough for therapy.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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