We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
