I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
