It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
