im so drunk with asians
where?
always
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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