Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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