I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
