it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
