i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
