and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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