have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
