i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
