Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
