i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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