Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He shit in the fireplace
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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