Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
