Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
