Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
