i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
