we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
