did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
