just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
