I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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