is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
