i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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