that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
